I had a moment of weakness at dinner. A moment when I thought I could eat out as most others can, where I could order off the menu without any modifications. It felt liberating to order the tacos with salsa and guacamole and not ask what on the menu did not have onions, garlic, wheat, or sugar, or be concerned that the amount of avocado was more than 1/8th, or that the corn was more than half a cob, etc. I wanted a normal meal experience where I could eat what I wanted and not feel like I was making a spectacle of myself with all of my questions in front of the waiter. And really, what bad was going to happen? I am always so careful of what I eat and I had been feeling good lately. Would one meal actually cause a problem? By the end of the meal and for days later I had my answer. The next morning I had to pull out one of my trusted loose dresses to hide evidence of my misstep. In addition to the bloating and feeling of discomfort overall, my stomach and joints were in pain, I had headaches and this weird pain that I get in the back of my eyes (I have no idea why that happens but it does). I wonder, why did I choose to ignore that this is what happens when I eat the wrong foods? Why did I not ask the waiter to recommend a dish that did not have my list of forbidden foods? Because sometimes I just want to eat what I think will taste good and truly enjoy a meal. Ever since I found out I had fructose malabsorption, eating out has lost a lot of its joy and sometimes I want to find that happiness again. However, I need to remember that although eating will never be the same for me, I need to find the pleasure in foods that I can eat and not focus on what I cannot. Until I have my next moment of weakness….
Have you had a similar moment of weakness?
Photo taken by Luca Nebuloni on Flickr